the clouds take five for a day

this morning has taken a drastic turn, from late last night to roughly 6am this morning I was battling a pretty severe migraine, but after some medication, a hot shower (with the lights off i may add, which was pretty scary...i kept thinking to the "here piggy, pig, pig" bit from American Horror Story...freaked me the fuck out pretty badly) and a cigarette, the pain started to clear. i usually am slightly pessimistic when it comes to "holiday cheer" but thanksgiving is always a different holiday for me. i find a feeling of simplicity in it. unlike christmas, there isn't the gift mentality present. it's being around friends, family, talking and sharing stories over a great plate of food. it's a time to remember that those simple things in life hold much more water than material things and gifts do, and being around people you love is one of the most important things we can attain. i also find myself in an interesting spot here in St. Paul MN. I am sort of in the middle of every great situation I could ever wish for. When I need alone time or isolation for my own sanity, I can just stay home, wrapped tightly in a blanket in my apartment, or when I need to see some beautiful faces and talk about what's been on my mind I can drive 50 minutes to New Richmond, WI to see all of my great, lovely Wisconsin-ites. and when I need to get back home to see my family and sit in the old "neck of the woods", I can drive down to Westbrook and hang out with mom for a few a days. I really have all I could ever want in three simple locations, and it's a day like today that I realize how lucky I am for the friends and family I have in my life. As I start to get a little older, the more I realize how important all of these people are in my life and how excited I am when I get to share a cup of coffee and a few stories of what's been going on lately and all the interesting things I get to see on a daily basis in St. Paul. and how could I forget all the great friends I have and friendships I've made in the past couple years, nothing is better than hanging out with tyler, koehler, ashley, cheyenne, and who ever else comes into the picture on a friday or saturday night that is nothing short of exciting. these are some of my best and closest friends, even if we don't see each other that much. so many of the fun times and experiences have been shared with close friends and family, but I wouldn't be anywhere without the unconditional love I feel and receive from my lovely girlfriend Anna May, the best friend I've found in my so far short walk of life. I could go on and on and on about all the beautiful memories we have shared, but it's a day like this that all those memories shine the brightest. I hope to anyone that reads this has a great Thanksgiving, and don't forget all the great people in your life that you hopefully will get to spend the day with

novi.12.nove//

my lack of sleep always plants a new seed on my "dashboard" page of my somewhat managed blog. not to lay my cards down too early, but really...there is no grand motive behind this post. nothing buzzing on my mind at the moment, i think for the most part my mind is in a calm, settled state..and i also think that my lack of capitalization and excess punctuation backs up my previously made point. i didn't really force myself to write anything, i have just been realizing many things lately, and thinking more than usual. for myself, this time of the year is a time when i try to slow things down and push everything away for a short time. spring time is a blur, for the most part, because the last semester is wrapping up and the excitement of the word "summer" starts to become a vivid reality much sooner than planned. summer flies by, with many drunken nights and soft-spoken conversations around campfires and cups of coffee. but it's autumn that grabs my attention the most, and yells "slow down!" very loudly in my ear. it's this time of the year that i start to think on decisions made in months past, and for this past year i have found one re-occurring word pop it's head out of the shadows....moderation. now, years ago, if you were to sit down in a person-to-person conversation with me (something similar to what i get to have with the love of my life quite often) and mentioned this word, it would slowly start to make me uncomfortable which may have resulted in an 'emergency phone call' that would allow me out of the room. for years, this image of myself has been portrayed as a loose cannon, don't really give a fuck about anything, type of guy. now, i'm not saying that person has completely dissolved (come on, i haven't even made it to twenty yet ;) but things have taken a slight turn. it was this time last year i started to involve myself into a plethora of chemicals and other things, and really started to loosen the nuts & bolts on what was barely holding me together. i'm not here to preach against anything i did, because quite honestly after listening to many people older & much wiser than me, these are the years that one looks for love, fun, and excitement..and i did find that, quite easily somehow. but that word, that horrid, ugly word that i used to hate has become something very important to me...moderation..hmm. even though this is a word that relies heavily on the context it is squished in-between, i think the meaning rings true to many things i am slowly finding out were "out of whack" if you will, in my own life. a few days ago, i was lying awake at 2 am in western wisconsin and started to think about why i have made some of the slight decisions for myself in previous months and i started to notice that my focus isn't truly where it should be...i believe that when you are making decisions you know will please the people around you, you focus more on a time span of staying true to something, rather than being aware of the situations you wish to stay away from. in the end, it really isn't about a number of days, it is about keeping something out of your daily life because day-to-day life & weekend life are two totally different things. leave the partying aspect out of it, people take time on the weekend to catch up or do something they couldn't do during the week because the focus of daily life is a completely different animal. the more i have pondered these thoughts, the more i realize that letting loose at certain times and not wanting to do it at other certain times is the balance we should shoot for. locking chains down on yourself to keep a work, work, work mentality 24/7 is only going to burn you out in the end and send you in a whirlwind back to where you started off. and the greatest thing is, having a different approach to your week vs weekend isn't a "cop out" and/or doesn't justify a person from partaking in certain things, it just keeps a healthy moderation to your own sanity. so the next time you think you have fucked up on a certain day or broke a certain streak, don't just start over. realize that every thing has it's right place, and once you reach that place, don't hesitate to let loose
"oh, isn't it strange how we move our lives for another day? like skipping a beat. what if a great wave should wash us all away?"

2:20

have you ever wanted to erase everything you remember?
maybe not completely everything, but pull out the broken memories and parts and leave a hole in place?
have you ever hit the ground so hard you decide to stand up for the first time?
taken a breath of fresh air that finally fills your soul and reveals the beauty that was blocked by a sky full of grey clouds?
have you ever stepped back to see yourself wither away in the arms of someone you love?
have you ever realized your faith is completely gone but remembered it was never there in the first place?
no matter how far the spiral takes you, embrace it. close your eyes and drown yourself in the darkness

want a 365 day long summer? here you go.

311////soundsystem////Transistor

here are a few albums i have really been enjoying lately. and yes...grassroots, music, from chaos, etc.. are fantastic albums BUT i think more people should throw in these albums because they are truly masterpieces start to finish. some of my favorite songs from these three albums are Evolution, Prisoner, Light Years, Rub a Dub, Borders, Random, Hive, Purpose, T&P Combo

every minute fades away with the wind passing through

well insomnia set in a couple hours ago, and as i was lying in my bed i was contemplating writing something for my blog. i do not have a direct incentive or purpose behind this post, i just feel like getting what is in my head onto this screen will put my mind to rest better than most things at this time. often times, i sit and wonder how i made a non-intentional transition from the person i was years ago to who i am now. you could name things, objects, people, experiences, and many other things until your head 'explodes' and still not be close at all. the truth is we walk down roads blindly and afterwards have no regret or feelings of any emotions because we did not intend on going any certain way. we just do what we feel is 'worth a shot' at the moment and dive in. it can be many experiences that have close connections to what i briefly described that truly transition us to someone new, no matter how small the change. i think of how much my mind has changed, and how i find things so dern interestin' (sam elliot) that i completely disregarded before. i do not think it is a matter of maturity or a higher level of peace within myself, i just believe it is evan madson at the moment. i have been for basically my entire life a very impressionable person who (from the outside looking in) can change his mind a thousand times over many decisions. but i don't want to hold back an 'itch' or inkling i have at any given moment just because i do not think that is what the current evan would disapprove of. i mean, yes you need to have some guidelines and know where your boundaries are at but the further you take that concept, the easier it is to see we use that to justify too many things in life that truly would not hurt us afterwards. i am not a person who likes to rob myself of things i can experience now in my life, things that may not come up again years after. i think this intertwines pretty well with myself as an artist. my art isn't strictly just sketches, music, or poetry. it's every artistic quality and experience (thesaurus!!??) mixed together and poured back into me as a person. whether it was playing in metal bands throughout middle/high school, picking up the acoustic guitar and singing for a crowd of local friends, or just playing the same slap bass riff for three hours, it all mixes together inside me and what comes out isn't the same as the last. there are so many sounds, musicians, sights & sounds that come into effect when i play or write i am not even aware of what is going on. so i am sick of trying to put the 'genre' box around myself as an artist. to set boundaries and wrap yellow tape around myself as an artist would be doing a very counterproductive process. artists need to grow but still sustain what they are producing. think of how repetitive and monotonous it would be if an artist painted 100 pieces with the same mindset for each piece of art. or if the band you like was always taking the same risks and never stepping out of the area they know like the back of their hand. there would be no innovation or creativity. the creativity might still be there, but it would not be anything close to creativity in the most pure, basic sense. i guess for me, this all means i am letting go of thoughts that hold me down as a person & artist and just try figure out what evan madson wants to produce today. not what i am trying to sound like. the thought really entered my head when i created a folder on my computer. it started out as "influence" and has solely one specific person in the folder. as time progressed, i found the folder grew substantially and has great variety inside of it. i don't truly have on set inspiration, my inspiration is finding new things that make me fall in love with my art & music and take it to a level i was not aware existed. that kind of sum's up a lot of what i am thinking of at the moment, and hey....this transition from a few sentences to the end turned out pretty decent. hmm.

/////

   Hey everyone. I haven't posted for awhile, so I thought I would write something up. Well, I have officially finished my first year of college. Though it is a very exciting achievement, I find a vast sense of fear. So much of my high school to college transition feels lost. Like there was a giant blur and BAM, I am one year away from finishing college. I am trying to grasp the reality of what happens from now on, but I still get a little tripped up. Besides finishing my classes, I haven't been doing a whole lot. I have found some recent hope with UPS, it was really nice to finally hear something back from a place I applied at. Besides that, I have been spending a lot of time with my Anna May and also some new compadres at Ashley's house. I can say I am pretty happy with my life right now.
   I am also stumbling down a road to discovering more of myself than I already know. For so much of my life, I have been a very impressionable person who jumps to the qualities of other people rather than my own. I have always had people I look up to, whether I have a daily acquaintance with them or not, and sometimes wished I was more like them. In early years of your life, this may be a normal thing but I still find myself struggling with it to this day. Slowly evolving into a musician has been a wonderful thing, but as I sit and ponder the past years of my life I realize that it has hurt me in some ways. Yes, I have grown as a person in many ways, but it really dumped a new pile of people to look up to on my plate. If you are friends with me on facebook, it is pretty obvious who I am "in to" at any minute of the day. I have had this issue for a lot of years and never really dealt with it. I just let it keep piling up until I mentally feel like someone else, not myself. It took some words from a close person in my life to sort of give me a mental slap in the face.
   I don't hate that I have influences and what not, but I do feel like I am enthralled by other people much more than myself. Mood swing after mood swing, occasional dips into depression have had an effect on me and helped me realize what I need to deal with as a person. The joy of music and playing the guitar feels like a fading mist. I am so captivated by how it felt the first time that I still sometimes search for that same feeling, something that will never return. I have devoted so many hours to six steel strings and a couple hunks of wood that I feel I have numbed so much of myself. It almost feels like a never ending cycle.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

influence.

colin greenwood//radiohead

311

   Just wanted to leave you guys with some new music to check out and a little background on one of my favorite groups.  311 come from Omaha, Nebraska and fuse together styles of reggae, rap, punk, and rock.  They have been playing since the early '90s and have a large amount of great tunes.  Some of the best songs to check out are: Use of Time, Lucky, 8:16 a.m., Salsa, My Stoney Baby, Paradise, Plain, Beyond The Gray Sky, Beautiful Disaster, Who's Got The Herb? 1,2,3, and Strong All Along. Grassroots is my favorite album, but Music is close behind it.  I saw 311 in Milwaukee & St. Paul this past summer.

This City's Growing On Me...

St. Paul, MN//My New Home

   Well I was sitting up looking over some stuff for class, and thought I would write a new blog. Hopefully it can settle me down and get past the 2 rather large cups of coffee I have consumed. I wanted to write a post that had a different focus compared to previous trails of my thoughts.  Even thought I spend many days at my girlfriends, I always feel good when I return back to my apartment in St. Paul.  I love living in this place.  Luckily, I am pretty close to Minneapolis (may seem a bit obvious) so I can get my hands pretty much wherever I want.  I haven't been to a ton of major cities, but enough to know that the metro area is different than many others.  Sunny days can be completely up beat, but there are some parts of the cities that are relaxed almost all of the time.  I find that where I live, it is pretty relaxed with some groovy people around.  I like to know that I am not confined to one area (westbrook) and can go to basically any kind of place that I want.  The Twin Cities is a great place to be.  We aren't over-obsessed like a lot of west-coast places.  We aren't as driven and sometimes snobby as some east-coast places.  We're caught in the middle, but we'll always join you for a cup of coffee and a cigarette any time of the day.

McNally Smith College of Music//Excellent School

   I just wanted to leave something on the school I go to, I mention it so much I should address it a tad bit more than I am.  McNally Smith College of Music is a music college in St. Paul, MN.  It has 4yr, 2yr, 1yr, 3 semesters, etc. for degree's.  You can go for close to any instrument you love, and also can go for business and other fields not associated with performance.  This school has a great vibe.  Some of your classes may have ten people, other's twenty, and many other amounts of people.  It is easy to get along with the instructor's here.  They're all welcoming and quite a few are easy going, laid back musicians that make the class time a good time.  There are recording studios, practice rooms, and other types of musical area's throughout the school.  There is a cafe also, that has great food everyday.  The library is also nice because you can burn cd's they have onto your computer for free (just need a ID badge) and that is very nice.  This place is just great for anyone looking to join the music industry.  You can find your niche and meet some new people.  I have a good amount of connections I have made through this place.  Check it out if you are thinking about a career in the music industry.  

..just another city kid

...my fake plastic love

 

Here is the link to my first guitar review, hope to keep doing this when I get the time.  Wonderful job of editing, especially the creepy "eyes opening" intro. Oh well, hope everyone enjoys the clip.

   I have been working on some new music, getting better at chord progressions. I am very excited for guitar lessons next week, and my pedal is about ready to be sold so I decided I am going to get a Takamine.  In no way will Takamine pass Martin in my opinion, but they do have some fine quality guitars.  

   Songs for the week: I decided to start a playlist titled "2011" and as the year progresses, I will add the music that I am listening to most, hopefully add songs like every couple months or so.  I started the playlist, and will keep listing songs as the year progresses.  Anytime you see "2011" just know I am adding to the playlist bit by bit.

2011

1. Subterranean Homesick Alien

2. Exit Music (For a Film)

3. No Surprises

4. Lucky

5. 15 Step

6. House of Cards

7. Jigsaw Falling Into Place

8. Faust Arp

9. Nude

10. Creep

11. Stop Whispering

12. Ripcord

13. Vegetable

14. I Can't

15. Prove Yourself

16. High and Dry

17. Fake Plastic Trees

18. My Iron Lung

19. Black Star

20. Bulletproof...I Wish I Was

21. Karma Police

   So far it is just a vast amount of Radiohead.  They are blowing my mind so much lately, I am starting to love their music more than ever before.  I hope everyone can listen to some tracks off the playlist, and hopefully I keep adding to the list over time.  Cheers

  

christmas break creeps towards its end...well sort of.

          

 -This blog is dedicated to Mikael Akerfeldt and how much I've listened to his music lately-

   Well I knew this week would come, but I can say I am honestly satisfied with the christmas break I experienced these past weeks.  I attended roughly 4-5 christmas parties and also some New Year parties also.  I even had the chance to help out Anna with babysitting on New Years and just the thought of that night is fucking exhausting.  Besides a couple bad nights, I was a pretty satisfied person each day I woke up and realized I did not have class.  I was very excited for the 27 day break that I have been enduring and still am.  

   Through all the time I have spent with my own family and also Anna's family, I still made some time to learn new music and write some new riffs, lyrics, etc.  I started to learn a lot of Radiohead and by the heading of my post, lots of Opeth.  I purchased a bass effects pedal awhile back, and realized a new electric guitar is needed.  If my pedal sells, I will soon have a PRS SE in my possession.  It is a PRS SE and features a very groovy logo on it.  Now, if I was playing shows and "gigging" all the time, I may not buy this guitar just because I think too many people have a shallow frame of mind and would consider me a poser.  I am not playing live much, so for my own personal use this guitar is outstanding.  The features on this SE are far above any other SE's, and it even looks more professional in my opinion.  The sound, feel, and look of this thing will suit me greatly for many years.  I hope to have this guitar soon.

   I dedicated this post to a certain artist, one who is not as popular in the united states (yes i left that un capitalized for a reason) but is gaining popularity quickly.  Mikael Akerfeldt is the frontman for the Swedish progressive metal band Opeth.  I started listening to this group in high school & have been an avid fan for many years.  They really have a unique sound. My roots are in metal so that side of the band appeals to me but lately (the past year) I have dabbled into slower, more melodic music (often acoustic tracks) and that side of the band is simply phenomenal.  

   Mikael is into a lot of acoustic songwriters, and that sort of shows in a vast amount of the groups material.  So when I was to hear some low, evil growls with heavy guitars in the background I can turn on songs like The Moor or Moonlapse Vertigo. However, when I am in the acoustic/groovy melodic shit mood I can turn on tracks like Hope Leaves, Patterns In The Ivy, Benighted, Harvest, Still Day Beneath The Sun, Windowpane, and dozens more.  This group (and Mikael himself) really have a place in my musical "heart" and keep me going in my everyday life. 

   Anyone who reads my posts knows I always leave songs to check out (sometimes video clips) and this week/near future I suggest checking out some of these songs.  They can really relax you, and if you are into an out of body music experience, they can often seem even more appealing.  Besides the music, I have been spending time at my parents house hanging out with my family, and I plan to leave tomorrow.  I had a trip through a white, blizzardy, 50mph wind hell from Shakopee to Westbrook.  At one point, I got out to go to the bathroom and was wind burned after only 20 seconds of exposure.  It was insane driving through that weather, and of course when you get stuck behind other drivers who frankly are going too fucking slow, it drives you crazy.  Passing is obviously no option, so I suggest buying a pack of cigarettes to accompany your frustration.  I highly doubt the trip back to wisconsin will be as bad as my trek "down south" so I am pretty excited for the drive.  If I don't post in the next few weeks, I think it is safe to say my predictions were off by a longshot.  just a brief look inside the mind of another city kid.

   

some thoughts over a snowy, brisk winter break

  i am sitting in a warm house all alone, just woke up a couple hours ago. last night theresa, emma, anna, and i went to Hudson to see Black Swan.  the previews intrigued me to a certain degree, so i was pretty excited to see the film.  it was an amazing film no doubt, the scenes were as good as the score.  i was blown away by the film and highly suggest everyone to go out and see it.  i have my classes set up for spring semester, and i am very happy with what i will be taking.  i am not taking as many classes as last semester, so i decided to throw in some 1 on 1 guitar lessons with a great instructor.  i am not really aiming to "shred" even though i would like to be able to play like that, instead i am going to try build up my composition & songwriting chops so when i sit down to write, the process goes a lot smoother.
  i do not believe that songwriting can be a completely "easy" task, there are always going to be factors standing in the way when you try and write songs.  however i do believe that grounding yourself as an artist and finding a "system" that works for you is what helps out the most.  in my head, i always have tons and tons of ideas going around, but i don't really have a way to put those thoughts in order, all too often i come out with random lyrics, chords, riffs, etc. that do not have true substance & do not relate to the other thoughts very well.  i am excited to start relating what is in my head, and molding them into a unique sound that is all my own.  i am also starting to back away from comparing & trying to be/sound a specific artist i like.  i think one of my biggest struggles as an artist is i listen to someone and then think i need to be at the level they are at.  that is a huge block for me, and ends up frustrating me because what i come out with doesn't compare to what they write. now that i listen to what i say more logically, i often wonder how fucked my thinking can be. i have been writing for only a couple years, and unless i am extremely gifted in the same ways other artists are, i am not going to have that certain sound.  i am trying to dig into what Evan Madson sounds like, not what someone else sounds like.  i am trying to get more order into my thinking and production as an artist, and i think that lessons will benefit me substantially.
  i start school on the 13th of january, and i am pretty excited for that because when i go back i will only have one day of classes.  i am taking two business classes and one economics class.  not many classes but the credits add up to be enough to get me by.  add on the lessons and i am good to go.  i really hope i can find some part time work, because my class schedule is designed around good working hours.  i am not saying i 100% want to work, being unemployed is actually kind of nice.  i just really want to start having some cash flow so i can save for a new guitar! i don't think i will ever stop looking :)  other than that, i am just spending time with the people i love and trying to make these last couple weeks as fun as i can.                               

                                                                  
                                                                                                
 

if you get some time, check out this video.  #41 is my favorite song by Dave, and this is a great performance.  it really shows how Dave's emotion outweighs perfection in his playing.  i am not saying he doesn't play things perfectly, but more so with his voice you can tell he is lost in the moment and even when he doesn't hit the notes perfect, he doesn't care because the moment is everything to him.  in my opinion, he is the most emotional, talented musician of our time and i just can't get enough of his music.
..just a small look inside the mind of another city kid.