Saturday, July 2, 2011
well insomnia set in a couple hours ago, and as i was lying in my bed i was contemplating writing something for my blog. i do not have a direct incentive or purpose behind this post, i just feel like getting what is in my head onto this screen will put my mind to rest better than most things at this time. often times, i sit and wonder how i made a non-intentional transition from the person i was years ago to who i am now. you could name things, objects, people, experiences, and many other things until your head 'explodes' and still not be close at all. the truth is we walk down roads blindly and afterwards have no regret or feelings of any emotions because we did not intend on going any certain way. we just do what we feel is 'worth a shot' at the moment and dive in. it can be many experiences that have close connections to what i briefly described that truly transition us to someone new, no matter how small the change. i think of how much my mind has changed, and how i find things so dern interestin' (sam elliot) that i completely disregarded before. i do not think it is a matter of maturity or a higher level of peace within myself, i just believe it is evan madson at the moment. i have been for basically my entire life a very impressionable person who (from the outside looking in) can change his mind a thousand times over many decisions. but i don't want to hold back an 'itch' or inkling i have at any given moment just because i do not think that is what the current evan would disapprove of. i mean, yes you need to have some guidelines and know where your boundaries are at but the further you take that concept, the easier it is to see we use that to justify too many things in life that truly would not hurt us afterwards. i am not a person who likes to rob myself of things i can experience now in my life, things that may not come up again years after. i think this intertwines pretty well with myself as an artist. my art isn't strictly just sketches, music, or poetry. it's every artistic quality and experience (thesaurus!!??) mixed together and poured back into me as a person. whether it was playing in metal bands throughout middle/high school, picking up the acoustic guitar and singing for a crowd of local friends, or just playing the same slap bass riff for three hours, it all mixes together inside me and what comes out isn't the same as the last. there are so many sounds, musicians, sights & sounds that come into effect when i play or write i am not even aware of what is going on. so i am sick of trying to put the 'genre' box around myself as an artist. to set boundaries and wrap yellow tape around myself as an artist would be doing a very counterproductive process. artists need to grow but still sustain what they are producing. think of how repetitive and monotonous it would be if an artist painted 100 pieces with the same mindset for each piece of art. or if the band you like was always taking the same risks and never stepping out of the area they know like the back of their hand. there would be no innovation or creativity. the creativity might still be there, but it would not be anything close to creativity in the most pure, basic sense. i guess for me, this all means i am letting go of thoughts that hold me down as a person & artist and just try figure out what evan madson wants to produce today. not what i am trying to sound like. the thought really entered my head when i created a folder on my computer. it started out as "influence" and has solely one specific person in the folder. as time progressed, i found the folder grew substantially and has great variety inside of it. i don't truly have on set inspiration, my inspiration is finding new things that make me fall in love with my art & music and take it to a level i was not aware existed. that kind of sum's up a lot of what i am thinking of at the moment, and hey....this transition from a few sentences to the end turned out pretty decent. hmm.